in my hometown, Kyoto.
And I spent time with my stepparents for the first time in a very long time😊

When I was a little girl, my mum would say to me in tears, “I should have never birthed you…”
So I always said to my mum, “I’m sorry for being born.”

I also remember eating a bread crust in the corner of the room as my family members left the house one by one.

I always had a distorted belief that I was not worthy of existing in this world and was always afraid that my loved ones would eventually leave and I will be hurt. So my defense mechanism was to never let anyone come close to my heart and decided to live in my own little world.
This world that I created was a very safe place, but it was also a very lonely place.

But when I became a little adult, came a turning point in my life. I met my stepparents.

When I even refused their love and care, they never stopped giving me their unconditional love.
I still remember the moment when I stepped out of that little world of mine, still with fear, thinking
“I really want to accept and appreciate the love they are offering.”

After that, I would find a flower on the roadside and I would think it was cute💓
I learned for the first time in my life, that sitting around a table and eating together as a family is one of the greatest privilege and happiness an individual can have😌

Time passed and when it was time for me to leave my stepparent’s house, I asked them
“What can I do to repay you? ”

They answered, “If you are thinking of paying us back, you don’t have to give us anything back. Instead, live the rest of your life as who you are and shine as much as you can. Let your light and warmth shine on the people around you. That’s how you can repay us.”

Their words are still a big motivation and part of who I am💪😊
・
・
Many years have passed since then, and we’re eating together at the same table again. And
I visiting my hometown for the shoot, I was truly happy that I existed💖

So I would like to use this opportunity to thank my parents for bringing me out into this world, and thank my stepparents for showing me what it means to live in this world.🙏😊

📷 @kittan07film